Socialization within the Family

                Interacting with other people is something that nearly everyone can do without even thinking about it. We carry on conversations, read people’s emotions, react to others and basically take a place in society. To us, it seems natural. Like something we just know how to do on instinct. However, all of this is something we learn how to do as infants and small children by our parents, or some other guardian.  Henslin explains that “when you were born, you had no ideas. You didn’t know that you were a son or daughter. You didn’t even know that you were a he or she” (2012).

                In my family, one major socialization was the volume of our voices. I have a brother and sister, and all three of us are separated by a total of about three years. Having all of us being toddlers at the same time meant that it was very possible for us to get quite loud at any point during the day. You know how when you go out to a nicer restaurant, church, airplane ride, or whatever and you hear a bunch of screaming kids crying, complaining  and basically making it a miserable experience for everyone else there? Yeah, that was not allowed in my family. The social factor my parents taught and enforced to my siblings and me was to be respectful of other people and know when it was okay to be loud and when it was time to be quiet. We were socialized in this concept through observation and discipline. Since my parents did not like yelling through the house to communicate and hold a conversation, they did not do that either. They would make a point of saying “I need to find your father to talk to him about this,” or “Can you get your mother from downstairs for me, I want to ask her something,” or “Go and get your sister. Dinner is ready,” so as to avoid yelling. Once they gave demonstrations of the right way to communicate to other people throughout the house or other large areas, it was expected for us to do the same. 

               Naturally, it didn’t work that way. We would sometimes yell through the house anyway just because it was more convenient. At that point we were socialized by discipline. At that point, we really didn’t have anything that could be taken away except for time with friends. But, at the same time, it was not a big enough deal to keep us inside and away from doing something active. So that meant my parents used the best tactic in their arsenal to get us to do what they wanted: shaming.  By saying that we were too old to have to be told not to yell through the house or that we should know better by now, made me feel embarrassed that I still did that action, because I did know it was wrong. People are not supposed to shout to one another. That was the lesson and what society was accustomed to. Outside was the place to yell as loud as you want, provided there were not people in too close of proximity. In the end, I was socialized in this regard: yelling and being loud outside? Good. Yelling and being loud inside? Bad and I will get in trouble. The fear of getting in trouble was what made me become accustomed to the acceptable voice volume level at various venues.

                Here in America, children start going to school around the age of five. This allows the children to be more involved with society and other people their age. In school is a good place where young kids are exposed to social norms and what is acceptable and what is not. When kids are in school, they “learn about authority relationships, political processes, national heroes, ideals, and superordinate goals” (Palonsky, 1987). They are able to take part in that learning process with other kids who are learning the same things and developing as well. “Schools can reinforce or amend the patterns of political learning children acquire at home in dramatic and enduring fashion” so that it is more of the societal expectations of the youth rather than just what the expectations are in the home setting or what the individual family values.

                People are always being socialized throughout life, because values and expectations are constantly changing. But by learning the cues when we are young, we are able to figure out and abide by those expectations in society fairly easily. It is important to remember that socialization is a constant process.

References:

Henslin, J. M. (2012). Sociology a Down-to-Earth Approach (11^th edition).

Palonsky, S. (1987). Political Socialization in Elementary Schools. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press.